What a week!
Today I went 2 work as per normal. End of story
2day I took the day off bcos wasnt feeling 2 well. Nth much 2 say.
Off again 2day and I was 2 find out that it was the right choice. Had a seizure after i slipped on the wet flr at hm at abt 9pm. Ran on abt 8 mins according 2 dad. I realized that i was pretty scared of almost everything arnd me n the fear was 1 of the factors that caused it.
Due 2 the fit,I took tis 2 days off. Fear was still there but i felt better. At least I didnt feel crying
wrenching pain. Yes my head was that painful. I have had post-fit headaches but this was the 1st time i cried bcos of it.
I hit church abt 330 2day. Cell was quite messy 2day n pretty much stop-start. I screwed up n nearly didnt have anything 2 eat b4 9. I dunno what i was thinking then,but when i felt i cldnt go 4 communion,I told joe 2 do it in proxy 4 me. (Sorry joe 4 putting u in a spot n it was ur 1st time too.)I went 2 take it anyway. Super freaked that i wld drop halfway thru but Thank God I didnt. When the svc ended, Ronald went up 4 altar-call n aft advice frm ben's side(cant believe i still call them that.), the cell decided 2 go in force 2 support him. I still wasnt feeling 2 well but i went anyway. When u go 2 bless pple,usually u wanna spread the gd omens 2 others but in my case,all i felt was freakin' fear. Look at it tis way, my turn at altar-call came aft him even tho i didnt go 4 it. I was extremely subdued and onli managed 2 squeeze out the basic words like:(follow me,say this so i followed. It was after much hesitation, i muz add) n didnt say anything much else.
On a final note I wld like 2 thank all members of the ex phileo 4 all they did last sat,including delaying their dinner. I admit that I may need help again in the future n u r always there. Thanx guys.
Muz oso remind myself 2 look up. Problem is, the only way i can actually look up without "force" is when im on my bed staring at the ceiling(when i lie down have 2 bend head to look at feet ma) Muz learn 2 do more of the same standing up.
Im still freaked, unable 2 do anything at work. Hopefully i will feel btr when i go 2 pulai springs starting fri-mon.
" they say at weddings" i give u this ring as a pledge of my love" Fortunately for Christians,we dunnit a ring,juz a pledge"