messed up!

I'm giving up! on practically everything! education is over! almost everything is! How recognized are qualifications if i don't have an O level full cert? Where can I go without one? You know you are wrong when everyone agrees on something that you don't. but the question is, do people think its so easy to change? easy to overcome? I would be super happy if everything was able to do with a snap of my fingers. I still cant get over my body,visual and audio hypersensitivity which everyone says its because i cant control my emotions. know what? I'm very in control of my emotions yet i still cant overcome my problem, lame!

And now because I have an intercom in my room, I cant make an audible sound as long as people are around if not the intercom will make my dad panic...

not planing for future? dunno how to look ahead? better learn to care for yourself first before caring for others. don't make people worry for you, supposed to be older take care of the younger not the other way around.

These sentences or in similar form have been said to many many times..

You think its easy for me huh? its true that everyone has his own problems,im no exception+i have an issue probably only 1 percent of the world's population has,correction, below one percent. people who know me will know what it is. who doesn't and wants to know can just come and ask me.

whatever!.....

this week

So it happened, i went down to meridian JC on friday and got a run out, had a single touch of the ball and that was it. Until the interview came, then that was a whole different story, I spent the whole day on the sidelines bar the last few minutes of the 11 a side game. Now i'm"famous" but some people don't realize how hard it is to cope with when u are in that position, the added pressure to perform after all that publicity. Nevertheless, I would like to thank the coaches and panel for giving me a chance to play. Hats off to Fandi,Aide and Nasri for the opportunity and Coach Zai for the interview opportunity as well, And to Dillenjit(sorry if i got your name wrong) for the well written article, learning opportunities for both of us. And the SDSC soccer guys( i wouldn't have a team to play for without you guys).

Onward to the next tryout!

Regards

Ivan

PS: It's page 44 of 19 September's The New Paper(Singapore) for anyone who wants to see me at my "best" lol.:D

my thoughts

soon after my latest blog entry came out, an article about Dr, William Tan and his"girlfriend" came out. Last night at dinner I had my dad tell me that if someone is nice to me it doesnt mean she fancies me. I go "WTH". so i found out my mum told my dad that Im starting to like girls. Again i go "WTH" i mean honestly, i started liking girls at 6 years of age! Also if at my age I didnt like girls, I think my parents should get worried...

Anyway, I guess what I'm going though now is frustration. I'm seriously frustrated man! Not frustrated because I felt I lost a chance with the girl, but more frustrated that I was misunderstood and lost a friend just like that.